Where did you get a picture of my penis
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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