Can i not drive my cunt home
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'd cum for enchiladas.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
