There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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