Small penises have feelings too.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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