I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
