I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
