he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
