JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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