My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
