filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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