Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize