Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
