i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
