i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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