ya dads aren't the best wingmen
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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