I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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