Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
