i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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