i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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