Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
