someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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