I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
