Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
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