Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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