Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
