i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
