Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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