he puts the penis in happiness.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
