Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
