Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
