So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
