he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I just want nice things and good sex
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
