Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize