my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
