My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
