Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
