so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
