Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
my being single is dangerous.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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