he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize