found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
