I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
