My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
