Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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