Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
