Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
