Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
