Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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