You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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