The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
