it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
