Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
