Will you blow on my dice?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
