the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize