When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
