Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He shit in the fireplace
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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