So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
