She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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