New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
