If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
