so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize